Bridal Parties: How to Deal with People Who Don't Make the Cut

It's not easy being popular. You have to spread your time amongst all of your friends and relatives in a way that says, "I've got an hour for youý but just an hour." You get asked to more Christmas parties than you can attend and your Evite membership has been upgraded to Premium for free. You have it pretty tough.

Without a doubt, deciding on the members of your bridal party is just going to be one big headache. After you've made your shrewd but fair cuts, you're going to have some explaining to do. Here's how to pull it off without losing friends and pissing off anyone.

How to Let Someone Down Who is a Younger Relative

This one is a softball. If you've got a fifteen-year-old cousin who is crying into her Hannah Montana pillow about not being chosen as a bridesmaid or junior bridesmaid, lessen the blow by offering to make her your fashion consultant. That's right. Bring her along to your bridal fittings and have her take the photos and give you the thumbs up or down on what does or doesn't look good on you. This also has its fringe benefits, as no one tells the truth better than a pre-teen or teenage girl. If you look fat in your favorite dress, she'll let you know.

How to Let Someone Down Who is an Immediate Family Member

You've made the tough but smart decision not to include your wild, borderline alcoholic older sister in your bridal party. This one's a bit tough, as she'll be feeling hurt that you've chosen friends over your own flesh and blood. Patch things up by asking her to be the Queen of the Bachelorette Party. Spend more time than usual with her as she plans the event to ensure that she feels like she's been an important player in the success of your impending nuptials.

How to Let Someone Down Who Had You in Their Bridal Party

You were the maid of honor in your best college friend's wedding, yet you haven't talked in five years. Suddenly she's on the phone, ever-so-casually inquiring about your plans for the big day. Stop this train before it derails by ever so surreptitiously throwing in comments that prove the point that you haven't talked much in the past half-decade. If your friend raises the issue, be honest and bring up the recency factor. Assure her that she'll be right by your side at the bachelorette party if she's up for it.

How to Let Someone Down Who Thinks She's Already In

You have a friend who's already acting like she's a member of your bridal party. Problem is, she didn't make the final cut. This is a delicate situation, as you're likely going to sever the relationship by dashing her bridal hopes and dreams. If you want to keep this person as one of your besties, consider adding a slot to your already established in-crowd. If you can't make the room, break the news gently in person and brace yourself for the aftershocks. Whatever you do, do not ask this woman to be your guest book attendant or another B-list role in your wedding. Every woman knows what that means and this particular friend will not be happy about the lesser distinction.

Ways to Save Yourself Some Grief Before You Encounter All of the Above Situations

Make your life easier by drawing some clear lines on how you plan to choose your bridal party. Go relatives only, or combine long-time friends with relatives. Skip your new best friend at work and anybody who can't name your immediate family and favorite pet. If you can't make a decision between all of your friends and relatives, consider going without a bridal party and just get married mano y womano. It'll save people tons of cash and you an entire bottle of Tylenol.

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